Deepening Roots

On settling down into a place and into a life

So it is somehow already almost halfway through April?! It is truly wild how fast the first quarter of the year flew by. I traveled more in the first three months of 2026 than I did all of last year, and while it was genuinely all a delight, I’ve found myself “recovering” for the past two weeks from how tired I was by the end of my journeys.

Spring at the cabin: azaleas galore!

While my body and mind may have been craving a more slow-pace vibe lately, the ecosystem all around me seems to be embodying an opposite zeal. After having survived through the dark and snowy winter, the woods are literally bursting with life as the plants and animals are reawakening in all their glory. Green ferns are unfurling new fronds, there is a symphony of bird songs in the air every morning, and the tulips I planted back at Thanksgiving have emerged from their bulbs beneath the soil to add pops of orange and pink along our drive. I have been particularly charmed by the numerous gorgeous azaleas around our property. It’s our first spring living in the cabin, and I find myself giving thanks to whoever planted these wondrous bushes years ago because their blossoms are bringing such cheer to my heart every day.

Tulip varieties: Drumline (L) & Princess Irene (R); fern fronds in between

We’ve been in our new house for nearly eleven months, and truly I feel that I am just now really feeling like it is home. Lately Phillip and I have been taking small steps to make some of our visions for the property become reality. I started clearing another short trail loop in the woods where we can walk our pups. Phillip has planted some trees and shrubs in the yard that we hope will be quite large in future years. And last weekend on Easter Eve, I finally planted the two rose bushes that I’ve nurtured from clippings from my grandmother’s roses back in Texas. After two years of caring for them in pots, they are big enough now to hopefully make it year-round in the soil, and more importantly, I am at long-last living somewhere where I plan to be for the foreseeable future. Planting the roses felt like a sacred blessing of literally putting down roots of my ancestors in a new place of belonging.

And so I guess I am “settling down”? The pilgrim in me is asking, “Is this what this looks like?” Since college graduation (and not counting summer internships/adventures), I’ve lived in five different states, in approximately eighteen different houses or apartments, with over thirty different roommates (not counting pets!) All of those years were a whirlwind of mostly beautiful, exciting, lovely experiences, and I’m grateful for all of those explorations. But now, at 43, I am finally living someplace, with someone, where I think I will be for a while. Who knows what the future holds of course, but at least the plan is to be here… long enough to see some trees grow tall?

When I started this Substack back in August, I know I said that I wanted to document this process of creating a home – so perhaps it’s somewhat odd that I’m only just now feeling like my body and soul are on board with that aspiration. But crossing this threshold has been unlike any other I’ve known really in the fullness of its interconnectedness with other beings. It hasn’t been that I am simply closing one chapter in my life and beginning a new chapter for myself. It has been an experience of crossing into a new era where in “my” life is deeply enmeshed both with my partner’s life and with the well-being of this living ecological community all around us. I suppose that although I became planted here last summer, it’s taken the fullness of the passing seasons to feel like I’m emerging from the seed of possibility and starting to feel the aliveness of arising into this new existence.

I repurposed cinder blocks from our old retaining wall to make a bed for my grandmother’s roses with companion flowers & herbs

Thus I have been feeling that with this settling into a new place, I have been slowly settling into a new season of life. My professional journey is still somewhat up in the air (the next steps being partially dependent on grant funding that will get announced next month), but I’ve nonetheless been trying lately to identify aspects of my life that are worthy of investing in for some long-term growth. (Note that I kinda hate using the word “investing” here with all its financial associations, but iiwii.) In recent months, these “investments” have included:

— Joining a co-working space so I can actually get professional work done on a regular schedule. People think moving to a cabin in the woods will help them focus on their project at hand, but I have found the opposite of that assumption to be true.

– Finding a therapist and finally participating in counseling for the first time in my life. I have a vague hope of wanting to process grief and understand some behavioral patterns better, but really it just seems like everyone I know who is mentally healthy has found the tools discovered in therapy to be helpful. So, hello Internal Family Systems.

– Creating a community group that my friends and I are calling “ChurChaos.” I’m a big believer that the spiritual journey is not meant to be walked alone, but how does one find spiritual companions when your ever-evolving belief system might currently loosely be described as post-Christian, God-as-Source-of-Creativity, ecospirituality? Well, I’m thankful that not only have I found folks in Winston with similar orientations, I’ve also found a handful of amazing women who were game for committing to accompany each other on our spiritual quests for this season of life. Already it’s been such a blessing to get to know these friends in such an honest way, and I’m so looking forward to savoring their company through whatever our explorations entail.

Speaking of explorations, I have been surprisingly moved by witnessing the Artemis II mission over the past week. I’ve never been very interested in the possibilities for outer space travel, but I, like so many people around the world, found myself completely transfixed with the journey of astronauts Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch and Jeremy Hansen and their earthbound team. I’ve read some great articles (here & here) reflecting on why we’ve all been so emotional watching their trek, which has as much to do with being awed by the moon as being awed by seeing a team of humans that embodies such excellence and goodness.

There is much I know that I will be continuing to ponder about their accomplishments, but one small detail that gave me delight was hearing Jeremy Hansen describe the meaning of the animals on his mission patch and how they represent the Seven Sacred Laws that he has learned from Indigenous elders. Sometimes when I start sharing how I’m following the creatures in the animal medicine cards for guidance, I qualify my explanation by saying “I know it’s a bit woo-woo, but…” But in reality, following the wisdom of animals isn’t woo-woo at all. It’s only weird for those whose spiritual orientation has become sickenly divorced from the wonder of the natural world and from the life-force that sustains everything from the atoms to the galaxies. Indigenous cultures have always known there is much to be learned from our animal kin, and it gave me joy to hear a brilliant and brave space scientist share that truth as he was partaking in such a magnificent and wondrous feat.

There is much in the news that continues to be so terrible, but I’m grateful for this unexpected season of moon-joy and deepening-roots. It’s pretty amazing that we’re all on this journey together between the soil and the sky.

“Earthset” from Artemis II, source: NASA